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Top Five Reasons Thanksgiving Eve is the Best Bar Night of the Year

Thanksgiving Eve is the biggest and most anticipated bar night of the year.  It is a hometown night out that usually turns into an unorganized high school reunion.  The night is lined with never-ending rounds of shots, reminiscing with old friends, awkward conversations with people you’ve always hated, drunk dialing your ex, and chasing around whomever else you never got to sleep with in high school.  The next day you will thank the lord that you no longer live in this Podunk town but you will be giving thanks for the night you just had, and here are the top five reasons why.

5. There are no excuses to not go out:

You have absolutely nothing to do the next day except sit on the couch nursing a hangover and rooting against the Cowboys.  You don’t even have to worry about feeding yourself, it requires zero brain cells.

4. Most of your high school friends will be in town:

This is the night for a blackout session with your best friends from home.  The only problem is that along with your high school crew you will also have to encounter all those idiots that you couldn’t stand.  So be ready to change directions quickly when you spot one of these morons because they are notorious for starting boring conversations about work.

3. You get to see who went to shit and who got hot:

After all these years the prom queen could be the mother of three and look like she is expecting number four, while that skinny nerdy girl you always ignored cleared up her skin and got a boob job.  This will be interesting because chances are the fat prom queen still thinks she’s hot and the nerd doesn’t realize she is hot yet.

2. You can hook up with your ex from high school:

Enough time has now passed now that your high school sweetheart has forgotten about that time you cheated with a sophomore, and there is no better stage for reconnecting with your ex then a packed bar surrounded by old friends and lots of booze.  Lots of booze is the key to this, luckily that’s what this night is all about.

1. No matter what sins you committed you get to leave town in a few days:

So after you got denied by the hot nerdy girl and shot down by the fat prom queen you drunk dialed your ex and said ‘I love you…’  Don’t worry, you will be gone in a few days and by winter break nobody will remember anything.

One Response to “Top Five Reasons Thanksgiving Eve is the Best Bar Night of the Year”

  1. Christina Knanishu says:

    Um. Pattycakes….I’m pretty sure we chilled at your parents house with several people all night and it wasn’t til around 9am that you professed your undying love and proposed to me – your high school sweetheart – for about the hundredth time. Don’t cheapen me or it. LOL. Love you! – Mallory

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