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All The Jerry Sandusky Jokes You Can Read Without Being a Bad Person

Jerry Sandusky walks into an elementary school just as classes are let out for the day, when a teacher approaches him & asks, “so which child is yours?”

Sandusky replies: “I don’t care, surprise me.”

You may hate Jerry Sandusky, but at least he drove slowly through school zones.

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky’s defensive philosophy at Penn State?

A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

Q: If an older woman chasing a younger guy is called a cougar, what do you call an older guy chasing a young boy?

A: A Nittany Lion…

 

Q: What do Jerry Sandusky and Carnation Evaporated Milk have in common?

A: They’re both white and come in little cans…

 

Did you know that B.Y.U. was Jerry’s first choice before Penn State. He thought it was “Bring ‘em Young”.

 

I hear Sandusky had to stop going to church. The priests kept fighting over who got to hear his confession.

 

Sandusky claims he’s really young at heart. He says sometimes he feels like a 60 yr old stuck in a 10 yr old’s body.

 

Sandusky : I brought flowers

Hanson: Hello this is Chris Hanson with dateline NBC mind having a seat…

 

Sandusky is set to remake two Schwarzenegger films into one… It’s going to be called Kindergarten Predator.

 

You know it’s bedtime at Jerry Sandusky’s house when the big hand is on the little hand…

 

Jerry Sandusky was spotted at Wal-Mart today. Apparently he was confused by a sign that said “Boys’ pants half-off.”

 

It is well-known that Sandusky was the best at making tight ends into wide receivers.

 

Penn State: the only University where you can major in minors.

 

How is a Jerry Sandusky like a tortoise? He gets there before the hare.

 

What’s the difference between Jerry Sandusky and a terrorist? Sandusky actually gets his virgins.

 

One night Jerry Sandusky & Tim Curley were watching “Pirates of the Caribbean” together, when Jerry asks, “Would you bone Keira Knightley?”

Curley replied, “She’s got a skinny ass and no tits…it’d be like shagging a school boy.”

Jerry replies, “Yeah, so would I.”

 

BREAKING NEWS:

Jerry Sandusky has attempted suicide by jumping into the sea…

The Coastguard found him bobbing up and down on a small buoy!

 

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