Are You A Couch Potato? #SqueezeYour But(t)!

Hello again, SqueezeYour But(t)! Fans! In my intro article on 1/26/12, I spoke about squeezing your “BUTS” out of your head and getting off your BUTT to get your happy/healthy self out there to “Shine your Shine” ! For some of you this may be a real challenge since your butt is where you park yourselves most often- on the couch all night , or at your desk all day. Lethargy and procrastination rule.

Uh-Oh!…Is this you??

You’ve mastered every excuse in the book why you’re too busy or too tired, blah, blah , blah.. .Workaholic or Couch Potato, the bottom line is that you (and your bottom) are not moving. The result either way is the same – unwanted “Pillsbury Doughboy” pounds. I tell my students this: “If you MOVE- it MELTS. If you SIT -it STAYS- then it SPREADS”! Fat cells are like BFF’s – they stick with you ! The more they stick and spread the more sedentary you become because it’s exhausting to your body to have to lug you around! Did you know that leading a sedentary life is equal to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.  And, if you sit & smoke-  well, you subconsciously have a death wish. Sorry, but you do. Your body hates you. You have very poor blood flow. Oxygen and nutrients are not absorbed or utilized well. Your pipes are all clogged up. Carbon dioxide and metabolic waste do not get fully excreted.

Where do you think those toxins go?

They nest in your lymph nodes and body tissues, make a home there and then have babies! Over the years your heart and your muscles atrophy slowly. Your organ functions (liver, kidneys) begin to fail. Your blood begins to gook up like sludge. You get weaker and sicker every day. It amazes me how people ignore all their warning signs. Your body communicates with you every day.   Pain, bloating, gas, constipation, diarrhea, headaches, numbness, blurred vision, rashes, the list is endless. These sensations are the precursors to grave illnesses. You are at great risk for heart disease, diabetes, stroke, cancer. You have to decide happily of your own choice, while you are able to do something about this , or your body will unhappily choose for you and make you disabled. It’s time to get off the couch now -(or out from behind your desk). Work your body – make it strong, fit. And health-full.  Like  I said before:

“You don’t have to go fast- you just have to go!

I know going to a gym can be uncomfortable. Its intimidating to workout next to Buffy or Mac , with their tight muscle tees and skimpy little butt squooshing spandex shorts, flexing their bulging biceps in the mirror. So for those of you just trying to get out of your pajamas,  I have 101 exercises you can do in the privacy of your own home that will get you heart pumping, your muscles moving and your sense of self soaring. You can even stay in your pajamas!  I have exercises you can do in bed- (yes, that too, will get your heart rate up- hopefully!). There are exercises in the bathroom,  in the laundry room, kitchen, and in your car. The idea is to just get you doing something!  If it’s easy, convenient,  and  DO-able, hopefully you’ll DO them!  Here are just a few easy ways to get you started! Do them mindfully , with purpose and focus!

SITTING” or “STANDING” Exercises   YES! They are the MOST important exercises you can do!

Sitting correctly is an exercise  –  Schlumping isn’t !( most people have such terrible posture, they slump, hunch and crunch)!  Do you sit in a “C” shape, instead of an “L” shape?   If so, your diaphragm is collapsed like a slinky in a box. No wonder you’re  tired. You’re suffering from oxygen deprivation!  Are your shoulders looking like “Igor” from a Frankenstein movie?  Does your head  feel like  a bowling ball on a wilted celery stalk?   No wonder your neck hurts!

In everything you do, always hold yourself up straight and tall!  Think “Posture, Alignment,  Breathing”! When sitting –  Sit up on your butt bones. When standing – stand evenly with your weight distribution 50/50. It  takes  the pressure off your lower back from leaning, and it strengthens your butt because it’s not sagging to one side!  Elongate your spine.  Look Beautiful!  Look ahead. Eyes Bright!   Hold  your chin up (parallel with the horizon)! It keeps the throat open allowing more O2 to get to your brain and your muscles.  Lift your chest, breastbone forward, shoulder blades pulled back and down. This works to strengthen your back & your abs.  It lifts the ribcage to allow your diaphragm   room to breathe.  The more oxygen, the better your body can work! Open your flow of energy!


Don’t just sit there!  Move your legs! Do LEG LIFTS & HOLDS under your desk or table. Sit on butt bones on edge of chair, back & chest up.  Extend one leg straight out as high as you can without curving your back.  Remember,  “L  Shape”.   Point toes firmly, squeeze your butt, abs  &  thighs and  lift from floor to chair height  Do 15 reps.  Then hold 30 secs.  Alternate lifts and holds. Repeat with foot flexed.

BED EXERCISE– without sex first , if possible!

1. While still in your jammies , do JUMPING JACKS on your BACK! Press heels and palms into mattress for extra resistance. Push legs and arms out, Pull back together, feet flexed, squeezing your butt and abs every move.

2. On back, swing legs off bed and do Flutter Kicks.  Squeeze your abs. Kick extended legs up  &  down.
Place hands under your butt for lower back support.

1While holding  a gallon milk jug, do Milk Jug Lifts:  Stand up straight (always), squeeze your butt & abs. Squeeze &  pump biceps as you  lift from thigh to shoulder.

Counter Push-ups:   Place palms firmly on edge of counter.  Step back as far as you can, heels down, keep back straight. Bend elbows and lower chest to counter. Push counter away from YOU! (more work).

Using Laundry Detergent or fabric softener  jugs, do TRICEP Kickbacks! Lean forward with flat back. With elbows  at your sides & behind you, squeeze fingers and press jugs back and out, making sure your shoulders are steady.


Balance Stands: While  brushing your top teeth, stand up straight on one leg. Lift and hold  bent knee as high as possible, foot flexed.  Squeeze butt of standing leg. Switch legs for bottom teeth!

Towel Flaps! After washing your hands, take bath towel, fold in half , hold  in tight fists. With arms shoulder width apart & elbowed locked, flap towel vigorously from ears to thighs, as fast as possible.
Focus on Pulling down, then  pulling up.



Red Light, Squeeze Tight! While stopped at a red light- extend arms straight out and grip steering wheel at 9  & 3 o’clock. With foot on brake, lift and hold  butt off the seat.  Squeeze  butt and fingers as hard as you can while light is red. Green light let go- drive safely! Do at each red light! Your butt will be sore by the time you get home!

These are just some fun , simple ways to make better use of your time instead of just sitting around. It gets your muscle activated and blood pumping while you are doing what you’re already doing! You don’t even need your sneakers- yet.  Xoxo for now. Talk to you next week! Andrea

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