Zombies? People All Over America Are Eating Each Other and it All Started in Florida
What the hell is going on lately? Why is everyone eating each other? Is this a zombie apocalypse???
Where is Will Smith when you need him? Jeesh!
As if the possibility of people going crazy and eating each other wasn’t bad enough, it seems like it all started right here in South Florida. That’s right, folks, we are all sitting right here at zombie ground zero! It’s the launch of a new era, and in that new era people are losing their goddamn minds and eating each others’ brains and faces.
Here’s the breakdown and timeline.
1. Students and teachers at Hollywood High School break out with an unknown rash that causes a situation so severe HazMat has to respond. [HuffPost]
2. Two Days later HazMat is sent out agin, this time to Fort Lauderdale International Airport, after a mysterious chemical sends five people to the hospital. [WPTV]
3. Two days after that, Dr. Zacharey Bird is arrested in Orlando. The normal, upstanding doctor bashed his head on the back of the cop car cage until his forehead bled profusely. He then spit the blood in the faces of police officers. [SFLChronicle]
4. A few days after that, the HazMat team was sent out a third time, this time to a Broward middle school after a mysterious rash broke out. [MiamiHerald]
5. Then the very next day, a crazed man rushes the cockpit of an airplane that lands in Miami Airport. [FoxNews]
6. Then on Saturday, Rudy Eugene ate the face off a homeless man on a Miami Beach causeway. [SFLChronicle]
7. Then on Thursday, a man in New Jersey stabbed himself multiple times before cutting out his own intestines and throwing them at police. [NorthJersey]
8. Last but not least, a student at Morgan State University admitted to killing his roommate, and eating his heart as well as parts of his brain. [Gawker]